what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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