i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
