STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
