I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We just shotgunned beers for America
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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