you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
sarcasm needs its own font
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
