Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
