i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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