i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
