well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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