porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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