hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
