You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
