I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
