I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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