i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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