and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
