Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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