I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
