Whod you bang
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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