we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
