Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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