Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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