that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
