Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
