I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Drake has all the answers
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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