too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
