Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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