Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
