He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
