I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
