Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
