Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
