Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
