Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
