Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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