My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
