he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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