Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sobbing to NWA
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
