Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
did i just pee glitter
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