i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i now understand why vodka
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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