you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
