I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need to calm my uterus...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
