Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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