dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i think my cat just said my name.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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