I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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