Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
