I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
