In the future we'll all be gay
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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