I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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