Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
